We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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