I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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