she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
