You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
