Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Two words: nipple clamps
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