My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
be right there i have to get my cape
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