You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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