It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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