Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
