Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize