I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
