Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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