I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize