A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
