It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
