today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize