i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
