Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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