Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
