i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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