just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
