carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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