Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
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Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
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I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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