Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
