do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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