she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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