If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We have started to decorate penises.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
