I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize