you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
