She even gives head with a lisp.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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