So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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