i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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