Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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