Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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