My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
