this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
