Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
