Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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