North Korea, Best Korea!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
