I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
