i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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