We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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