I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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