We won't sleep together?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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