i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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