i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
