i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize