Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
