I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
