she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
