i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
