Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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