One girl and one boy is just not enough.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
