Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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