it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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