why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
