WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
