I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day