so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.