I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
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Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.