Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.