Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
