My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
